The Frozen Woods:

Ruminations On Loss

“Mostly it is loss which teaches us about the worth of things.” – Arthur Schopenhauer

The hardships in life force us to grow, to become stronger in order to overcome. Similarly, it is loss which compels us to value that which matters most, to be grateful for what we have or once had in our lives. Losing something, but especially someone you love is perhaps the most mystifying, painful experience you can have. All of the positives they imparted, all of the experiences you once shared, have now physically come to an end. What remains though, is the legacy they left on your soul.  All of the memories you have and the lessons you learned as a result of their existence, remain. These things can never be lost, never taken away, for they are eternal.

“The whole world can become the enemy when you lose what you love.” – Kristina McMorris

To experience grief, anger or discontentment in the face of loss is not only natural, it is necessary. All loss is heartbreaking. It will always take time to fully accept the reality of what’s happened, to come to terms with your anguish. Allow yourself the kindness of working through your feelings. Process your sorrow, free from judgment. To grieve deeply leads to strength, not weakness, as It is the path to acceptance and future empowerment in spite of, or even because of, the loss you’ve experienced.

“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” – J.R.R. Tolkien

You can never replace someone who has been lost. To experience sorrow in the company of their memory is only natural, especially if their absence is quite recent. Allow yourself these feelings, for the presence of your melancholy should remind you of the significance of who you’ve lost and ultimately how grateful you are for having known them. By working through your sadness, you can eventually realize of all the positivity brought into your life, all of the good times you had, the joys you got to experience, or the revelations you’re able to have now, as a result of having known them.

“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.” – William Shakespeare

Only by embracing your grief, rather than denying it, will you find yourself eventually on the other side of it. This is not to say that the sorrow of your loss will be entirely gone, but rather that the wounds you bare will lessen over time. You will be able to heal, to fixate more strongly on what you have rather than on what you’ve lost. Hopefully, in time, you will find a deeper gratitude for all of the good that surrounds you and a desire to seize the day, to live life to the fullest, that becomes more lasting and abundant.

“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.” – Leo Tolstoy

To love anyone, is always a risk. To care deeply and openly is to let your defenses down, to expose yourself to varied avenues of potential heartbreak. Nonetheless, it is the extent of your affections that indicates the quality of your character and the depth of your soul. The capacity to love strongly is the very ability that allows you to overcome the sorrow of loss, to heal and to love yet again.