Solo Florescence:

The Balance Of Welcomed Seclusion

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” – Dr. Seuss

Many people, as a result of their upbringing or the culture they currently inhabit, have embraced a perspective that seeks direction or meaning only from external sources. Rather than growing a rich, nuanced set of internal beliefs and motivations that define their existence, that codify their morality, they have instead opted, often unknowingly, to only accept the values or perspectives of those external to themselves. This is a mistake. While the beliefs of others should always be acknowledged and taken into account, there is no universal edict that necessitates the adoption of any reality exterior to your own psyche and certainly not one that stifles your core being. To find meaning in your life, to ascertain what is right or true, you do not need the instruction of any authority beyond yourself.

“Sometimes you need to sit lonely on the floor in a quiet room in order to hear your own voice and not let it drown in the noise of others.” – Charlotte Eriksson

The chaos of the world extrinsic to us can be deafening. It can so easily interfere with, or entirely distract from, our own self actualization and personal growth. In order for you to think deeply, you should seek a quiet, secluded space so that you may find a sense of composure. Only seclusion will amplify the presence of your inner self, making your internal voice or voices present, discernable and explorable. Investigate your perspective; examine your internal beliefs and values. Seek answers within, rather than without.

“Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.” – Bell Hooks

Only by knowing and being comfortable with yourself, can you possibly have a fulfilling, healthy relationship with anyone else. Far too many people seek out connection with others, specifically relationships of a romantic inclination, as a means of escaping from themselves or filling the cavernous hollows and insecurities that riddle their character, that plague their being. These relationships may last, but only so long as the exterior person persists in providing a patchwork of experiences that continue to keep an obviously perforated vessel afloat. As these relationships are founded on the basis of what a person can give you, rather than on a profound appreciation of who they actually are, they are inherently precarious and often prone to ruin. Learn to be alone with yourself, so that you may know yourself. Only then can you learn to truly acknowledge, know and appreciate others.

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” – Lao Tzu

Desire run amok, leads to suffering. Endlessly coveting the pursuit of more in a vein attempt to feel whole, only furthers discontent. To be secure in yourself, free from the necessity of any external intervention to feel happy, is essential. Almost paradoxically, the more at ease you become with yourself, the more self assuredness and contentment you epitomize by default, the better able you become to actually acknowledge, appreciate and harness forces extrinsic to yourself free from detrimental outcomes. You cease to require the input of others to feel whole, as you are complete unto yourself and as a result you can now enjoy the experiences of the external world fully, without requiring them to function.

“Breath. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” – Oprah Winfrey

Be present in the moment and be grateful for everything that you have. Motivation to pursue more, to improve your life and the lives of others is of great importance, but should only be sought alongside a profound appreciation of the here and now. Your life is meant to be lived; it is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest. Your wants, desires and beliefs matter. As meaning is subjective, imparted only by the framework of a conscious mind, your values are as meaningful as anything can be in this reality. Become whole unto yourself, free from an excessive dependence on the external, so that you may know peace and in turn gain the clarity to only look to those external forces which enhance your being further. It is only when you do not need or rely on that which is external, that you become capable of seeking enhancement from those same forces free from instability or fear.