Solitude Of The Misty Wilds:

Resolute On One’s Own

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” – Gautama Buddha

As a child, you are essentially unable to provide for yourself or engage in any decision making independent from the oversight of your parents or the other authorities that surround you. As you mature, you gain independence, you learn to take care of yourself and how to make your own choices, ultimately acquiring the ability to look out for your own best interests. Yet, many who are now fully grown still look predominately or entirely outside of themselves for instruction on what to do, how to live, or even who they should be. This is perhaps the greatest mistake anyone can make, as there is no other person who is capable of directing, protecting or providing for you better than you yourself. To internalize the idea that you are lost without the governance of the tribe, a friend or a lover, that you must somehow gain your direction, wisdom or purpose from the mouths of others, cripples your body, mind and spirit.

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.” – Shannon L. Alder

Many of us become lost in life, set utterly adrift in a sea of other peoples’ desires or viewpoints that run counter to our being. We so easily and carelessly alter our own perspectives, unknowingly at the behest of forces external to us. We lose ourselves, sometimes entirely, to the will of those who can never know better, for they cannot live behind our eyes. Above all, be yourself and believe in yourself. If lost, rediscover thyself. You are the master of your perspective, the captain at the helm of your own reality.

“If you wanted to do something absolutely honest, something true, it always turned out to be a thing that had to be done alone.” – Richard Yates

Only by being true to oneself can a person gain the insight necessary to improve not just their own life, but the lives of those that surround them. The actualization of the self is egocentric in only the most literal sense, as the formation of a strong sense of self is the bedrock upon which the greatest of altruisms may be built. Also, since the influence of those exterior to us can radically alter our own internal perspective, it is necessary to know yourself honestly so that you may carefully accept only those alterations of your outlook that impart positivity while rejecting those that damage you.

“The trouble is not really in being alone, it’s being lonely. One can be lonely in the midst of a crowd, don’t you think?” – Christine Feehan

For many, it is a weakness of the self, a lack of knowing, that necessitates always being surrounded by others; It’s a distraction. It’s an attempt to feel less alone by those who wouldn’t dare seek company in themselves, for fear of facing the most truthful and disarming of companions. But remember, there is nothing wrong with seeking enrichment outside of yourself. Some of the greatest experiences, the most profound revelations in life, are made possible through these interactions. The idea though, is to be whole unto yourself. To enjoy, but not require, association with those that encircle you. Also, never forget that being on one’s own does not require loneliness or discomfort. Learning to be content with oneself is one of the most essential skills in life, as you alone are the only ally on which you will ever be able to fully depend.